ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize