Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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