I don't think brook has ever known best
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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