He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
