I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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