i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
