And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
