You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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