i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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