Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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