Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
