I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
