so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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