got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
