Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
