You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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