I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize