Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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