can u get pink eye on your cock?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
