I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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