I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
