If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
