Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
