Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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