I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
