omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
