between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
