the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
