so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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