he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
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