She said her name was "party"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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