Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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