meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
