Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
