i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Randomize
