yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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