just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
