on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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