Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
