think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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