I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
