We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize