Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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