What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
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