He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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