garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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