paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize