AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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