it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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