this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
