whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
