Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
