can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
