OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
