We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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