I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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