Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize