you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
