I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
