I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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