What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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