it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize